| 9-01-2022 07:20 AM PT
Photo by Stanford Athletics
In 2021, we gifted you with our annual season predictions for Stanford Football, which included some incredible moments of foresight and laughable instances of delusion. Somehow, for example, all but I predicted a bowl game for Stanford last year—a meagre one, but a bowl nonetheless. That didn't happen. Grant gets points for correctly guessing the Pac-12 title combatants, and we all correctly guessed Thomas Booker's excellent season... but beyond that our predictions didn't ring true. The biggest swing and miss of them all? I predicted Stanford would play 70% of their games before 1pm PT. We only played 17%, proving I don't know how scheduling works.
Now that the 2021 campaign is over and done with—a campaign that saw us win only 3 games, 2 of which were bafflingly against top 15 opponents—it's time to try our hand at 2022. It's also time to try to BELIEVE because oh my has it been a depressing pit of football despair these last few years. Enjoy this new serving of Channel Tree's season predictions and delusions:
Jose Saldana: 5-7
Grant Avalon: 5-7
Sam Weyen: 6-6 (a return to sweet mediocrity including guaranteed wins over 2 ranked opponents)
David Ta: 4-8
JS: USC because non-conference games are exciting, and I will boo so hard.
GA: I don’t anticipate much to play for this year, so Big Game will mean a bit more
SW: U$C - we got their coach fired last year. This year we have a chance to humiliate them under Lincoln Riley and scorn Stanford to U$C transfer Austin Jones. Are we good enough to pull this off? Probably not, but that hasn't stopped us before.
DT: Big Game - the school with the least fans vs. the school with the second least fans.
JS: PAC-12 Championship Game because Stanford won’t be in it. Real answer is Colgate.
GA: Colgate (hopefully)
SW: Whichever games are relegated to Pac-12 network.
DT: None - because I love every moment of Stanford football.
JS: Tanner McKee
GA: Tanner McKee
SW: Benjamin Yurosek, TE and King of Baby Carrots (his great-grandfather invented them)
DT: Tanner McKee, QB
JS: Kyu Blu Kelly
GA: Kyu Blu Kelly, CB
SW: Kyu Blu Kelly (duh)
DT: Kyu Blu Kelly, CB
JS: Probably, EJ but I believe in wide receiver Brycen Tremayne to make a comeback from injury
GA: E.J. Smith, RB
SW: The Brycen Tremayne injury comeback campaign starts NOW (ps - remember that awful "Next Starts Now" branding initiative from football that kicked off our skid into irrelevance?)
DT: E.J. Smith, RB
JS: David Bailey, DE
GA: Patrick Fields, S (Oklahoma transfer)
SW: Sam Roush, the TE that will continue our surprisingly strong string of NFL-ready TEs
DT: David Bailey, Edge
JS: USC vs Oregon
GA: Oregon vs Utah
SW: Utah vs U$C
DT: Utah vs USC
GA: It could happen!
SW: Bounce back year means we're chillin in LA with Guillermo and Jimmy Kimmel in early early December (pls)
DT: I once got a date so anything could happen.
JS: That changing to a 4-3 defense will help the defense perform better.
GA: The return of Brycen Tremayne from injury
SW: Bleacher Report: Which coaches are on the hotseat? *clickbait picture of David Shaw*
DT: Tanner McKee shows everyone why he’s going day 1.
JS: One of my Uber drivers wrote to the UCLA alumni association a strongly-worded letter about his disapproval of UCLA’s switch to the BIG 10. I’m hoping that letter convinces UCLA to come back.
GA: The ten stay together for the medium term, with looks toward modest expansion
SW: I think we add SDSU and Colorado State down the road, but not for another year or two. Notre Dame's decision will usher in another round of chaos.
DT: Something happens but I’m not sure what would shock me at this point.
JS: Losing his religion
GA: Having a bonfire of statistics books
SW: Still the second highest paid coach in CFB behind Nick Saban
DT: Everything will be on fire but Shaw will be telling everyone that our problem is that the players need to execute
JS: Tanner will be the best performing QB in the nation
GA: Stanford once again beats a ranked opponent while missing a bowl game
SW: U$C wins against a ranked opponent early, "U$C IS BACK" is screamed by every talking head, and they go 6-6 on the year with a loss to the Beavs.
DT: Someone will get fired
--Fear The Me.
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