Stanford Football 2024: Season Predictions

Trying to A-C-SEE into the future...

By Sam Weyen | 8-30-2024 10:40 AM PT

Photo by Stanford Athletics


It's been a couple years since the Channel Tree crew grouped up for a round table of season predictions (see our laughably wrong 2022 predictions here), but we are BACK for the inaugural ACC edition. Lambast us! Hope with us! Tweet profanities at us! Whatever you do, we hope you read and get excited for another season of an offense that promises to do more than up-the-middle, up-the-middle, pass, punt (looking at you David Shaw). Go Card!

Record

David Ta: 4-8 (A hard-fought 4-8 that sets us up for success)

Grant Avalon: 6-6

Jose Saldana: 6-6 (I’m with Grant. It’s time to go bowling again, cousin Roman)

Sam Weyen: 5-7 (Securing our first YoY wins improvement since… 2015)

Offensive MVP

DT: Elic Ayomanor (WR) our best player shines.

GA: Sam Roush (TE)

JS: Elic Ayomanor (WR) — his jet sweeps in NCAA 25 carried him to a Heisman.

SW: Elic Ayomanor (WR) — the boring but correct answer.

Defensive MVP

DT: Collin Wright (CB) this guy figures to be a Day 2 NFL pick.

GA: David Bailey

JS: Tristan Sinclair

SW: 8 PM ET kickoffs

Most Improved

DT: Tevarua Tafiti (OLB)

GA: Sedrick Irvin (RB)

JS: Sam Roush (TE)

SW: Sedrick Irvin (RB)

At the end of the season, Troy Taylor will be…

DT: …in his focused crouching pose.

GA: …planning a three quarterback offense.

JS: …going to sleep at night, hugging his Elic Ayomanor plushie and thanking God, he was born to witness such greatness. 

SW: …annoyed that rookie Chicago Bears punter Tory Taylor will become so popular that Coach will get his first name misspelled by 50% of twitter, but not on the hot seat.

Surprise Upset of the Season (either direction)

DT: Virginia Tech Sorry Virginia Tech, but I don’t like an early away game across the country for you. But I mean I do like turkeys and turkey memes. I once followed around some turkeys in a parking lot for 30 minutes and a lady drove by and did some donuts around me saying “They’re gonna get you. They’re gonna get you.”

GA: Louisville

JS: SMU I’m from Dallas so it’s more like I will be upset if the Cardinal lose.

SW: We don’t play Florida State this season or else I’d throw out their sorry losing-in-Ireland-to-Georgia-Tech name. Instead, my surprise upset is TCU. I think they’re worse than advertised and we’re better. Feel free to make fun of me on Friday night if I’m wrong.

ACC Title Game will be between…

DT: FSU and Clemson

GA: Clemson and Louisville

JS: Clemson and Florida State

SW: NC State and Clemson

Bowl Game?

DT: It’s still possible for me to go on a date with Mina Kimes.

GA: Bowl Game.

JS: I guarantee it.

SW: Maybe if enough teams decline their invites.

Hottest Take

DT: Troy Taylor is a good coach. He just needs a lot of time to rebuild the team. 

GA: Emmett Kenney is going to be another electric kicker.

JS: Let me say I’m the biggest hater, the Big Game will determine largely which one of the Bay Area schools will go to a bowl game. 

SW: The ACC settles their lawsuits with Florida State / Clemson, allowing them to leave before EOY for a large sum

And hey! We play TCU today. Any thoughts on the match?

DT: It’s a high scoring game as both secondaries get lit up harder than Snoop Dogg. Also, it’s a battle of the dankest mascots ever. Stanford falls but fights hard. 42-35 TCU.

GA: Stanford went 4-0 against Sonny Dykes at Cal. If Stanford can establish any sort of running game, I like their chances. Cardinal win, 31-28.

JS: The last time I watched Stanford play TCU was in the press box of the Alamo Bowl in 2017, while eating M&Ms with David Shaw’s face in it. I feel the same way then as I do now. 39-37

SW: The cosmic powers of Pac-12 After Dark will still be surrounding Stanford Stadium. The Cardinal eke out a win in some unforeseen chaotic way, 28-25.

--Fear The Me.

TAGS: Tevarua Tafiti Troy Taylor NCAA NC State ACC EOY Taylor Hottest Take David Bailey Clemson JS SMU Mina Kimes YoY NFL Emmett Kenney Stanford OLB ACC Title Game Sam Roush
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